When Leadership Silence Becomes the Norm

In The Silence That Broke Me, I talk about the danger of unspoken truths — how leadership silence isn’t just a communication issue, it’s a survival tactic.

But what I didn’t fully unpack in the book is how that silence becomes habit.

At first, you hold back because the stakes are high. You’re protecting the team, the board, your reputation. But over time, that silence calcifies. You stop sharing, not just with others — but with yourself. You become fluent in withholding.

And then?

You start confusing composure with disconnection.

I’ve seen it in clients. I’ve lived it myself. You become the last to know how much pressure you’re under, because you've trained yourself to seem fine. Leadership becomes a performance of control rather than an experience of presence.

Here’s the truth:

Leadership Silence isn’t strength. It’s a signal.

And when leaders start listening to it — not reacting, but really listening — that’s when things shift.

The book scratched the surface. This blog will go deeper. More raw. Less polished. More useful, I hope.

If you haven’t read The Silence That Broke Me, it’s available now. But whether you have or not, this is where I’ll keep telling the truth about what leadership really feels like — especially when the stakes are personal.